When he invited my playful illusions to play…
My man is waiting in the middle of the church, smiling while waiting for me; his bride wearing a white wedding gown. I must be his most beautiful and very proud bride. The church is loaded with love and happiness, which accompanied with my favorite song; You Decorated my Life.
-At last, the two individual saying vows in the presence of God. Starting a life together until the rest of their lives.
I must be sleep by the smell of his breath at night or awake by his kiss in the morning. I must be the one who blend his favorite meal and tighten-up the neck-tie of his collared dress shirt. When he gets tired on his whole day at work, I must be the one to give him a massage, at least, for him to relax.
He must be the loving father of my two precious babies. He must be our provider and our brave protector. He must be the most adorable man in our lives.
Then, illusions were over!
He ended it up.
He just left;
– just like a fairy’s wheel which brings you up and let you see how beautiful the world is, but when you are in the highest point of the fairy’s wheel, you realized that there’s no way for you to return where you came from; no chance, because the operator of the fairy’s wheel was just left. All you feel at that moment were scared, broken, and helpless. All you wish is to find a person who can save you, from that worst scenario of your life.
It was an unexplainable pain when he left. I heard the cracking sounds of my vulnerable heart. I heard the murmured of my soul at night. Sorrows reflect on my eyes.
I can’t hide it anymore…
I don’t know where and how to start again.
I don’t know how to learn to forget or at least to forgive.
But, I need to be strong; strong enough for me to face the truth about the word “moving on”.
Why is it love is so frustrated? And sometimes so unfair?
Why… it can’t be easy…?
Matthew 6:19-21New International Version (NIV)
19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.